Numb

You know you are all alone in the end. It's not about bad times but it is about your luck. It's about imposing all the things on you. It's about like you're responsible for all happenings.

The fact you realize that you can't even cry properly because there are 1000 questions waiting for you. Maybe it's sort of a extreme depression. It's anguish.

I've experienced that happiness is for a lesser time. The person you love the most is exactly same, that temporary happiness. You need to believe that ofcourse sadness will be temporary too, but it's hard to just let things go during that.
Those layer of tears are now covering my heart. Even If I find someone to speak I stop myself, no I won't disturb anyone.
In the end what I hear is to be patient.

Sometimes I go out of this patience thing and to think all I have to do is this?

Maybe.

" I know it's hard to remember the people we used to be and it's even harder to picture that you'll be, most probably, not here next to me."

Killing pain

It's antithesis totally.

Happening with me absolutely opposite.
I can't appease everyone. Things are being pushed to me like I am responsible.
It's hard. Test? Yeah, maybe. Who knows.

Being abased at higher level.
It is aberration. Totally that.
I'm old and frail mentally.

 Inhabitant of wild jungle.

I need help.

Khuwahishen

Waqt guzar raha he. Main apni nahi sun parha hun. Kia kroon main?
Kuch apne liye karta hoon tou mana krdiya jata he. Bas prhte rahou. Yes we only live once, per koi smjhta nahin. I'm literally full of tears, I swear it is painful. Dunya main 1000 buray kaam hain mai tu phr bura nahi kraha.
Theek he iraday toot hi gye hain tou apni sunna chorr raha hun ab main. Krdeta hun waste ab is time ko. Kiya krun aur.

"...waqt iradon ko torray toh kia... "

Just a thought

My life is full of ups and downs. And if we talk about it in mathematical terms every maximum and minimum point, after its derivative, teaches me a lesson.

It is so weird to accept the fact that for the one we do so much or not exactly so much but they know those intentions are not interested to give any damn about it.

I am not offended by it, neither I want to make it realize to anyone, especially them. But I want to make a point here. Like seriously, how you people do that?
Every night it is disturbing, every morning is twice as disturbing than the night. I am worried and then tensions are revolving around me.

Khair no body cares, in the end. :)

Time and You

It is almost 2 AM, weather is perfect, headphones plugged in, wind is blowing with a whisper everytime " Enjoy young boy".

This moment is mesmerizing, I can't stop praising almighty. Aicha is playing. What can be better? I'm writing this, enjoying tiny bits of each second. In love with these moments... I wish it stays and I wish I could never let it go away. But I wait the whole day for it to come. Sometimes you need to take out time for your own self to see how beautiful things are there.

Dealing with bullshits, facing dual-faced people daily uske baadh apne liye waqt nikalna zaroori hai bhai :')

Enjoy it, I'm enjoying! It is priceless :)

Stuck

Been there

I'm always stucked when it comes to replying someone, and especially an important one.

Whenever they are leaving I don't open there messages, because it makes me feel bad ke main unhen tata bye bye bolun. Cux I strongly believe in " Kabhi Alvida Na Kehnay Wali policy" :')

I reply it next day with some good message takay conversation goes on, killing a conversation means sb kuch dangerous hogya. And I would never do it with important ones. Hmmmm. Seems alien-types.

Just recently did. Ouch, agr isay prhliya jaye phir? Masla hojayega, nahi itna nahi.

And I always read up messages drop down use krke takay I could think of a good reply nakay usi waqt open krke blank betha rahun.

It is just type of my caring thing.

Seee yaa. 

Aïçhaaâ

"Ellé pàşşè aan coté de möí"

Lines from beautiful song Aicha.

I never got involved into music so much except to this one. Perfect story, converted into perfect music and sung by a lively man Khaled, Cheb.

This one got many memories attached to. Listening it, repeating made me learn the song. School farewell singing it live in front of audience sitting.

I remember those very good days when using a laptop finding Aicha cover, live videos of Khaled.

I never thought of getting addicted to this one.

Taking out few minutes to praise Khaled for this beautiful song.

Thanks Khaled for rejoicing me with this one. You don't know me, world knows you! I hope one day I'll make a cover of this one.

Fake a smile

Behind these darks circles and face smiling, it is a huge story hidden and ready to unleash.

Sleepless nights, trying to attain peace at tiny single moment of each second in my life but could not.

Yes, they are people with humanly body but empty soul. Yes they are people with humanly body and dead soul. I wish I could've find the person whom I can share every single thing I could. But then again I remind myself " wait dear, they ain't listening, don't ye remember they're dead soul".

I am disturbed since years. I am a human who laughs like idiot and then cry like baby. Hmmm. Depressing? You can leave if I am enough depressing.

Words to share, happiness to give, memories to make and then a beautiful gift all I can give but it is just hard to find the person.

...
...

Hmmm. See you next time

Bye Bye

God bless you all.

Ramadan

HAPPINESS
It is very good to see muslims from all over the world, but more specific a country wakes up at same time, make changes in their routine, disturb their sleep just to have blessings. Blessings even as in eating, the suhoor.

And then smiling and sharing happiness with each other, the best deed anyone can come up.

What I do is after having sehri and then offering prayers, I go to my bed and keep watching the window, the outside view. In short looking at the sky, that deep blue color of the sky is ravishing and what I call in my local terms as " cute weather " and I tune up with my favorite Nasheeds. And then I enjoy the blessings myself, alone and then it is most amazing moment for me.

Furthermore, I can't even sleep until watching the colour go from black to deep blue and then to light blue and then I become sad because that cutest weather have disappeared.

Just now I am thinking and writing which in turn gives me goosebumps that yaayyy I have been giving another chance to enjoy the cute weather, Alhamdolillah!

Okay guys few minutes left, let me fill my tummy with some natural drink, H2O :')...

God bless you all.

Tensed, depressed, waiting and watching.

Watching things going easy to complicated. We humans are growing, time is flying, in every second a change is happening, we are so busy that we can't notice it.

And surely one day we will end up realizing oh shit I wasted my entire life.

Time is running away, days are passing by and after every breath death is coming more and more closer to us.

God provided our soul and nafs the communication as form of our body but some realize it some not. Some believe life is only about to enjoy, and some force them to believe.

We cry, and cry and then we regret. Human makes his own disease for himself and then run after medicines and treatments. Well!

Basically, life is really very short. From Azan our father gave in our ears, when we came into this ditching world, till the prayer of our funeral we will leave this world. Oh yes life is a journey between that Azan and that namaz.

God bless you all.